Play dota 2!
by MFP
Summary: Just typical observations whenever I watch dota 2 players, or my experiences in playing this game... Chapter 5: Drunk Gaming
1. Nemesis Assassin Event

**I just want to share what happened last night. It was fun.**

**Just finished writing. This story is based on the gameplay played by my cousin and brother. Names are changed and invented; some scenes are altered and exaggerated just to make this story engaging and enjoyable to read (hopefully).**

**Funny. I don't play dota 2, but I like the game. I tried playing dota 1 before, but I gave up because I suck. The liking must've developed when I happen upon my brother opening his Steam account and clicked dota 2. I never knew he played dota 1, so I got intrigued and watched his gameplay. I say I was impressed. And I watch his every match whenever I'm able.**

**Now that intro is done, let's begin the fun part... Nemesis Assassin Event!**

* * *

><p>I gladly relinquish the very hard duty of watching over my baby nephew to my aunts. Now, it's time for me to find amusement. But first, I want to check on my younger male cousin. My cousin's in my brother's room, laptop on the table, bed serves as a seat, aircon is on, electric fans are cooling the laptop, and playing dota 2. Just hearing the sound of banging drums and echoing angelic voices, I knew my cousin found a match.<p>

I sit behind my cousin as he waits for the other players to connect. "Hey, cuz. That's a rank or normal?"

"Normal, cuz."

"K."

My brother arrived and joined us in watching my cousin play.

My cousin will be named 'cuzin' here, while my brother will be 'bro'. They play on SEA server, all-pick mode. The '(foreign name)' means name composed of non-english words such as chinese or korean. The '[#]' sign means mic.

_Radiant: (foreign name1), A$$h0L3, #ilovedota2, (foreign name2), FuckYouPAPickers_

_Dire: RUN BITCHES!, Fist of Fury, cuzin, Angel Love, Mick Jagger_

He and the first two allies picked carries. He picked Huskar, first player picked Anti-Mage, second player picked Phantom Assassin equipped with the Manifold Paradox arcana. That means contract and free item drop bundle. All they need are two supports.

"Nice PA arcana. I still don't get about the contract thing." commented my brother.

I look at him. "You don't know?" my brother just shrugs his shoulders. "Wow. And I thought you fully comprehend this event. This non-player knows what's going on." so me and cuzin started to explain to him about the event.

"Oh. I get it now. No wonder I didn't get a bundle drop. My last game involves a normal PA trying to kill me. But this Oracle player beat her and my team won."

"But no drops." said cuzin.

"Yeah. No drops."

The enemy team finished picking. They're composed of Axe, Templar Assassin, Mirana, Earthshaker, and Shadow Demon. PA's target is SD. The last two of cuzin's allies picked Drow Ranger and Juggernaut.

_cuzin [Allies]: WTF_

_cuzin [Allies]: full carry team_

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: wtf_

_Fist of Fury [Allies]: gg_

_cuzin [Allies]: cant you see we picked huskar, am and pa?_

"You need to go support." said bro.

"But I don't know how to support as Huskar." complained cuzin.

"Then you'll listen to me."

_Angel Love [Allies]: you can supp huskar_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: il supp_

"Trash talk that bitch." said bro. When cuzin just frowned, my brother starts buying things before typing.

_cuzin [Allies]: you tink?_

_cuzin [Allies]: dats why i buy ward_

_cuzin [Allies]: i shud be hard carry_

_cuzin [Allies]: fuck you dr_

_cuzin [Allies]: you little piece of shit_

_cuzin [Allies]: pa and i top_

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: good luck_

_Angel Love [Allies]: just play_

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: i mid_

_Fist of Fury [Allies]: lets stop fighting and win_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: yea. 4 arcana drop_

"Fuck you too, Jug." said bro as he typed what he said before letting cuzin play.

AM and TA mid. Huskar, PA, ES, and Axe top. DR, Jug, POTM, and SD bot. cuzin did his best to play support and follow my brother's instruction. He harass the enemy team and let PA farm. When PA is low in health, he heals. He became the ward bitch, too. And when he reached level six, the ganking begins.

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: lets kill sd now_

_Fist of Fury [Allies]: k_

Huskar, PA, and AM went bottom to assist DR and Jug. When Mirana and SD are almost within the dire tower, they spent their skills. They killed Mirana first and when the low health SD is retreating, PA blinked and got the kill.

_RUN BITCHES! (Anti-mage) paused the game._

_RUN BITCHES! : YEAAAAH BOY!_

_cuzin : haha_

_Mick Jagger : yeah baby_

_Angel Love : pa killed sd_

_Angel Love : lol_

_FuckYouPAPickers : u got lucky cos mirana forgot ult_

_FuckYouPAPickers : ../.._

_Fist of Fury : haha_

_Angel Love : item drop_

_$$h0L3 : wtv_

_$$h0L3 (Templar Assassin) resumed the game_

_cuzin [Allies]: now we need to win_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: yea_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: 4 arcana drop_

It looks like the win they need seems far away when their first and second towers are destroyed, and they fail in ganks.

_cuzin [Allies]: we haven't td_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: td?_

_cuzin [Allies]: tower down_

_Angel Love [Allies]: we nid l8 game_

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: yea_

_Fist of Fury [Allies]: def and farm first_

_cuzin [Allies]: lets roam and pick lone hero_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: lets get rosh_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: Gather for Smoke of Deceit here_

_cuzin [Allies]: lego_

Before they smoke, bro made sure cuzin bought sentry wards.

Reaching Roshan's pit, the enemy team are already there, with Roshan's health too low. cuzin planted the sentry before DR used Gust, silencing all of them. Jug used Omnislash, PA is hitting TA, AM Mana Void ES. It's a mayhem of spells.

"Life Break Axe!" instructs bro and cuzin complies.

And in the clash, cuzin's team won, wiping out the enemy team. PA killed Roshan and got Aegis.

"Push!" said bro.

_cuzin [Allies]: Push now!_

They're pushing alright. cuzin teleported to top to farm, def, and push, while the others push mid. Despite the fortification, they destroyed first and second mid towers.

_"Get back and regen." said bro. "Don't waste Aegis."_

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: Get back!_

_Fist of Fury [Allies]: get bot_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: regen first_

_cuzin [Allies]: all alive_

_cuzin [Allies]: Get Back!_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: Bounty Rune here!_

They did get back. The enemy team never tried to push, so some of cuzin's allies are on defense or pushing. They kill enemy lane creeps to continue pushing and destroy the first and second top and bot towers before retreating, and farming neutral creeps within Dire territory just to earn enough gold. After two minutes, they got good items such as Jug has Refresher, AM and DR got Manta, cuzin bought gem and gave it to PA. and all ults are ready.

"Say 'Let's use Aegis'." instructs bro and cuzin complies.

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: lets hunt_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: Gather for Smoke of Deceit here._

_Angel Love [Allies]: go bot_

His team smoked again and went to the bottom Radiant jungle. Sure enough, they found the enemy team farming. And they went for the kill. And it's another team wipe out.

_Angel Love [Allies]: push_

_cuzin [Allies]: Push now!_

_Fist of Fury [Allies]: end now_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: end fast_

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: fast_

They push bot even but TA, Axe, and Mirana buy back. It was a waste because they got rekt in the end. After that, they push. Radiant's bottom racks are destroyed. Next is mid. Now they're destroying the fourth tier. They never bothered to destroy top and the other enemy Heroes.

_RUN BITCHES!: ggwp_

_Angel Love: gg_

_cuzin: ggwp_

_#ilovedota2: gg_

_$$h0L3: gg_

_FuckYouPAPickers: gg_

_Mick Jagger [#]:ARCANAAAAAAA!_

_Mick Jagger: ARCANAAAAA!_

_cuzin: giff me arcana_

_RUN BITCHES!: ARCANA VOLVO PLS!_

_FuckYouPAPickers: haha_

_FuckYouPAPickers: good luck four item_

_FuckYouPAPickers: *for_

Contract fulfilled and Dire won. The prize for the group: set of Lone Druid, the mythical Iron Claw. The enemy team disconnected.

We started shouting with excitement. So are cuzin's teammates.

_Mick Jagger [#]:AAAAAAHHHHH!_

_Mick Jagger [#]: ARCANAAAAAAA!_

_cuzin [#]: HOLY SHIT!_

_RUN BITCHES! [#]: FUCK YEAAAAAAHHH!_

_Fist of Fury [#]: MYTHICAL SET!_

_Angel Love [#]: AAAHHHH!_

_cuzin [Allies]: thanks __guys for the game_

_Fist of Fury [Allies]: ty_

_RUN BITCHES! [Allies]: ty guys_

_Angel Love [Allies]: TY_

_Mick Jagger [Allies]: same here. ty_

"Nice. Mythical LD set." praised bro after cuzin disconnected. "Let's check it out."

cuzin opened the bundle. And behold the Iron Claw Mythical set! So cool!

"LD looks like a Santa Claus. But still nice." commented bro. "And you don't play LD, so give me his set."

cuzin showed him the finger. "Fuck you. I won it, I no give it. And read this."

"Fuck." was all bro said when the set is not tradable.

"Hell yeah. Get jealous of my mythical set yo!"

"Yeah. I'm jealous. So get your ass off there and it's my turn to play!"

"Wuuut? One more game."

"Haha. Get off. I wanna win an arcana too."

"K. Good luck."

It's bro's turn to play and he's really pumped up, very excited to get an arcana too.

"Are you going rank?" I ask.

"Hell no. My purpose is getting an arcana, not regaining my lost 4k. Fuck. I need to win two more matches to reach 4k again."

"You'll never reach 4k again." cuzin said.

"At least I'm 3k and I've got a gap of fifty wins against loses. How about you?" bro retorts. My 2k mmr and lots of loses cuzin just shuts his mouth.

_Radiant: shazzam, Butt Man, good luck guys, Klejong-Na Ming, cutie pie_

_Dire: ()()===D, hotHOThot, UNDERTAKER, Captain Falcon, bro_

_hotHOThot [Allies]: get pa quick_

_good luck guys picked Sniper_

_Butt Man picked Slark_

_Captain Falcon picked Bloodseeker_

"So UNDERTAKER picked PA, huh?" said bro. "But no arcana. Fine. I wanna win anyway." bro picked Oracle.

_bro [Allies]: gonna be your best support pa_

_bro [Allies]: ;)_

_hotHOThot picked Omniknight._

_hotHOThot [Allies]: so am i_

_UNDERTAKER [Allies]: lol_

_bro [Allies]: haha_

_bro [Allies]: fren?_

_hotHOThot [Allies]: yes_

_UNDERTAKER [Allies]: yes_

_Captain Falcon [Allies]: im frend 2_

_cutie pie has randomed Venomancer_

_Captain Falcon [Allies]: i oflane bot_

_bro [Allies]: penis guy, get mid_

_()()===D [Allies]: :-)_

_Klejong-Na Ming picked Ogre-magi_

_()()===D picked Puck_

_shazzam picked Kunkka_

When it's time to play, PA is now equipped with arcana. Target is OM.

_bro [Allies]: oh shit. arcana_

_()()===D : :-)_

_UNDERTAKER [Allies]: lets do dis guys_

_Captain Falcon [Allies]: tango pls_

bro gave one ward and tango to BS.

_Captain Falcon [Allies]: ty_

bro, PA, and Omni went to top rune while Puck and BS went bottom. OM appeared at top, so the three allies ganked him. OM stuns PA and tries to retreat but gets stun by bro. The allies keeps on hitting OM until he's low life, giving PA the final blow. First Blood and Contract fulfilled. When the horn sounded, the rune appeared. It's an Invisibility and Omni takes it, while Puck gets Bounty. They went to their respective lanes.

_()()===D [Allies]: Well played!_

_bro [Allies]: Well played!_

_Captain Falcon [Allies]: wp_

_UNDERTAKER [Allies]: now we nid 2 win_

_hotHOThot [Allies]: yes_

The top lane enemies are Veno, OM, and Sniper; mid is Kunkka; bot is Slark. It looks like bro's team is winning. Mid is just okay. At top, Omni heals and repel, bro stuns, while PA just hit and hit and getting fat. BS killed Slark, twice.

The two carries are dominating the game, especially BS. He kills and has no death even when his health is too low ("Good support, yo." bro boasts). While the other support is... Good at supporting, despite wasting his mana (as what bro said).

bro's team is taking down the towers, then the racks. Less than thirty minutes later, their team won.

_()()===D : ez game_

_UNDERTAKER : haha ez game_

_hotHOThot : ez game_

_Captain Falcon : noobs_

_shazzam : not me. slark and sniper are noobs_

_Butt Man : ryt. blame me_

_Butt Man : fuck u all_

_()()===D : u still noob kunkka_

_shazzam : wtv_

_cutie pie : go get ur fucking item_

The enemy team disconnects. bro never joined the trash talk. He hates players who always say 'ez game'. All he wanted is to receive his bundle.

The prize for winning the match: the rare Malicious Efflorescence set of Spectre.

_()()===D [Allies]: wtf_

_hotHOThot [Allies]: no arcana_

_UNDERTAKER [Allies]: its better than nothing guys_

_UNDERTAKER [Allies]: b hapi_

_Captain Falcon [Allies]: ..._

_Captain Falcon [Allies]: zzz_

"Damn. Rare set." bro went to check his items after disconnecting. "Shit. I already have two shoulders and skirt."

"At least the set's complete." I said.

"Damn." he clicked 'FIND MATCH' again.

"Hey, man! It's my turn to play!" said cuzin.

"Last game then it's all yours."

"Still jelly of my arcana set?" cuzin laughs.

"Whatever man."

_Radiant : Mr. Dot, bro, midori-chan, ShtarLawd, ShaddapMOFO_

_Dire : Wazzup Losers, Pokemaster, King-of-Porn, (foreign name), oni_

_Mr. Dot randomed Zeus_

_Pokemaster picked Doom_

_bro randomed Lina_

_midori-chan picked Mirana_

_(foreign name) picked Shadow Shaman_

_King-of-Porn picked Wraith King_

_ShaddapMOFO picked Necrophos_

_oni picked Phantom Assassin_

_ShtarLawd randomed Sven_

_Wazzup Losers picked Death Prophet_

I didn't watch the match because I'm called to watch over my baby nephew and my aunts want to watch their show. So I did my job: feed, change diaper, play to make him tired, and carry him. When I carry him, I can go watch my bro's gameplay.

It happens that enemy PA is going to kill him. It's night time and bro jukes in the trees. He stays near the bottom tower and casts a stunning spell before PA blinks toward him. bro survived the attack and managed to stun PA. As PA is hit by the tower, bro cast another spell then used Laguna Blade, killing PA instantly. Contract has not been fulfilled.

_oni: damn_

_bro : contract denied_

_midori-chan [Allies]: Well played!_

_ShaddapMOFO : lol_

_Wazzup Losers : ahah_

_oni : wp_

_bro : ty_

I have to leave again. At least I witnessed bro's well played juke.

When I managed to let my nephew sleep and my aunts finish their show, I returned to watch bro again. His team is destroying the Ancient.

_DIRE VICTORY_

_midori-chan : arcana pls_

_ShaddapMOFO : ggwp_

_oni : wp_

_ShtarLawd : gg_

_Pokemaster :ggwp_

_(foreign name) : gg_

The prize? The uncommon Armor of Sir Davion set.

"Fuck! Garbage!" said bro. cuzin's laughing his ass of.

bro clicked 'FIND MATCH' again. cuzin never bothered to argue with him, he's still busy laughing.

_Radiant : bro, SexyKitteh, (foreign name1), (foreign name2), (foreign name3)_

_Dire : iNooB, iCarry, FreeKill, tyung yian, Gillette_

_bro randomed Ogre-magi_

_iCarry picked Phantom Assassin_

"Nice. Contract again."

_SexyKitteh randomed Vengeful Spirit_

_(foreign name1) picked Sniper_

_(foreign name2) picked Pudge_

_(foreign name3) picked Viper_

"Jesus Christ. My teammate carries are noobs." said bro.

"What made you say that?" I ask.

"Because I can tell. Explaining it to you is tiresome too." I just scoff.

_iNooB picked Tidehunter_

_tyung yian picked Doom_

_FreeKill picked Necrophos_

_Gillette randomed Razor_

"And the enemy team's hard to kill." bro added. "GG."

bro's prediction is right. The carries can't last hit, they retreat when it's time to gank, and they lack items. And they're noisy, speaking with their native tongue and they don't understand english too, bro needs to mute them. One by one, the towers are destroyed. bro is also the only one who helped VS to kill PA so the contract won't get fulfilled.

bro's team is wiped out, no buy back too. The enemy team is now destroying the mid barracks.

_bro [Allies]: vs_

_SexyKitteh [Allies]: ?_

_bro [Allies]: looks like we carry this team_

_SexyKitteh [Allies]: yes_

_SexyKitteh [Allies]: our carrys a joke_

_bro [Allies]: at least they won't get arcana_

_SexyKitteh [Allies]: so true_

_SexyKitteh [Allies]: haha_

_bro [Allies]: hehe_

"God dayum. I lost." said bro.

"And you got no arcana." said cuzin wearing a trolling grin.

"You got lucky."

"And you got no arcana."

"Whatever, man. Your turn now. Imma go fb now."

"Thanks, man!"

I yawned. "Time for me to sleep. Nice game boys. Night."

"Night." the two greeted back.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope the story is to your liking. I also wrote about a dota 2 x Mortal Kombat crossover. Please check it out. Thanks guys.<strong>


	2. NOOB

_"bro, watcha think of my dota story?"_

_"..."_

_"Well?"_

_"Who would read this, especially written by someone who never played dota2 in the first place?"_

_"Those who're interested. And as I wrote from my AN..."_

_"AN?"_

_"Author's Notes. I explained everything on it."_

_"It's better if it's coming from a real player. I mean, a REAL dota2 player."_

This conversation with my brother leads me to create an account and play dota2.

I began practicing by following the guides on how to play. Good thing I played Warcraft III and dota1 before, and it feels like what I've practiced before starts to show up. After the guides, I practice against bots. I start first with easy bots and my hero of choice, Crystal Maiden. Why her? Because she's female, pretty, and easy to use. Why not other heroes? I just want to stick with one hero first, and I like CM (I know, I sound feminist).

For almost an hour, I kept on practicing CM as the training becomes harder. After that...

"Time to fight against other players!"

Find Match. Match Found. Dire team, Hero selection, I chose Crystal Maiden. My team mates all chose carry-type heroes. That means I'm the courier buyer and ward bitch.

So I play and play, trying my best to support my team. But less than thirty minutes later...

_RADIANT VICTORY_

_I Heart U (Allies): worst support ever_

_[Foreign Name] (Allies): dis cm_

_XxxXxxX (Allies): delete dota and dont play EVER!_

_456812347952 (Allies): fucking noob!_

_Jack-ass: ez game_

_Wee man: tnx 4 feeding me cm_

_Tinky Winky: LOL_

_XxxXxxX: REPORT CM_

_MFP: I AM A NOOB_

_MFP: COS I'M A NEW PLAYER_

_456812347952: yes u r noob_

_Tinky Winky: LOL_

_MFP: LEVEL 1 PLAYER_

_MFP: NOT LIKE YOU 'PROS'_

_castilliones emir 69: lol_

_MFP: MAYBE ALL OF U ARE NOOBS_

_MFP: DATS WHY WE MATCHED UP_

_[Foreign Name]: stfu_

_MFP: DIDN'T DAT ENTER UR FUCKING MINDS?_

_i am groot: wow. tt_

_MFP: FUCKING RETARDS_

_MFP: REMEMBER THIS YOU PIECES OF SHIT_

_MFP: U ARE ALL NOOBS_

_MFP: FUCK OFF CUNTS!_

Disconnect. I'm so thankful I learned to trash talk from bro. Though, I'm kinda affected by it. Bashers like the players I played with are one of the reasons why I never wanted to play MOBA again. Or as what the net said, dota2 community is the worst when it comes to competitive gaming compared to other MOBA games.

"Now you're done, it's my turn." said bro.

"Last game. I want to redeem and taste victory first."

"My computer, my rules. So, get off."

"Fuck. Fine."

"Okay." He said as he cracks his knuckles. "Watch how a pro plays."

"... Don't pick Naga. Oh shit! Why you pick Naga!? You suck at playing Naga!"

"Just shut the fuck up and watch how a pro plays."

Less than an hour later...

I sarcastically laughed at bro's face when his team was defeated. "Pro, huh? You still a noob."


	3. I Quit

"Oh my God! Why can't I win, even just a single fucking match!?" I cried after I lost another match. I went Crystal Maiden, Shadow Shaman, Lion, Witch Doctor, Lich, Enchantress, Dazzle, Ogre-magi, Silencer, Vengeful Spirit, and Skywrath Mage; ward everywhere and staying behind my teammates; yet I still lose. Sometimes I get bashed, sometimes not. Hello!? New player!

"I bet these players were playing dota 1 before or old players having new accounts were my opponents! I guess I'll go in another tactic. If I can't play support, I'll go carry."

And that's what I did. And I chose Sniper because I want to remain as a range hero and he's easy to use. And I want to stay away from harm, hehehe. There's a catch though. Most noobs are very found of playing carry, which means there'll be no support. But whatever, I'll just play.

After I checked the guide on how to play Sniper, I clicked Find Match. Yeah, I ain't gonna go rank coz I'm uncomfortable of it. When it's time to pick heroes, I quickly picked Sniper. I'm the first one who picked in my team.

_Radiant team : MFP (Sniper), Kim Soo-Young (Pudge), Fockers (Vengeful Spirit), SlapAss (Drow Ranger), please show mercy! (Axe)_

_Dire team : emineM&M (Juggernaut), Lebron Jims (Omniknight), prettyBABYgurl (Windranger), GET REKT (Chaos Knight), Juu Moong (Zeus)_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): wtf_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): vs wat u doin_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): i mid_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): hey_

Kim Soo-Young starts pinging Fockers. Fockers doesn't do shit about it and starts going mid.

_please show mercy! (Allies): omg_

_please show mercy! (Allies): no courier_

_please show mercy! (Allies): gg_

_MFP (Allies): yea_

_SlapAss (Allies): FUCK DIS VS!_

_MFP (Allies): were screwed up big time_

_SlapAss (Allies): DIS FUCKTARD WANTS TO GO CARRY_

_Kim Soo-Young: gg_

_please show mercy!: report vs pls_

_Kim Soo-Young: i cnt play wid noob teammate_

_Kim Soo-Young has left the game._

_Game is safe to leave_

No choice. I have to leave too. Find Match. As usual, I pick first.

_Radiant team: Kim Soo-Young (Pudge), MFP (Sniper), [Foreign Name #1] (Meepo), [Foreign Name #2] (Visage), cha ching (Viper)_

_Dire team: (Juggernaut), *~ Emmeryn ~* (Crystal Maiden), don't tell me what to do! (Faceless Void), moon-moon (Tiny), ('.') oh noes! (Shadow Demon)_

As usual, Pudge go mid. I picked top and hoping that Visage will support me. Then the two foreign names and Visage went top too.

_MFP (Allies): hey viper meepo_

_MFP (Allies): go bot_

_MFP (Allies): you guys better farming there_

_MFP (Allies): i have visage to support me_

_MFP (Allies): or go trillane_

I'm not really sure that the foreign names don't understand what I'm saying or they're just plain idiots, because they chose to go top. Worse, their mics are open and they're speaking in their native tongue in such a loud voice, I'm forced to mute them. Visage also stayed at top and I'm forced to go bot.

At bot, I'm facing Tiny and Shadow Demon. At mid it's Faceless Void while top are Juggernaut and Crystal Maiden. I'm surprisingly doing well despite getting harassed by Shadow Demon. I get to last hit and deny (sort of), so I get good farm (I believe so). And sometimes I manage to do good jukes and imba moves. (imba- a term used when you did some exceptional/amazing/hard core moves such as you have low hp but managed to kill a full hp hero using wits and skills, or did luck shots like Mirana's arrow or Dendi hooks.)

But at top lane...

Less than five minutes, Meepo and Visage always get killed while Viper keeps backing away.

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): omg_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): feeders_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): stop feeding pls_

I never commented because I've been there. But acting like a good teammate, I teleported to top and assist them as best I could. Same goes to Pudge.

But hell! Because of too much feed, Juggernaut's fat (higher level than us, battle fury then going aghanims. We're screwed up, right?). And with a very good support Crystal Maiden, they manage to kill all of us. Team wipe out in less than ten minutes. My God! Early game and this happened to us! Whose not gonna be mad at that?

As we continued playing, Pudge started the blame game. I'm just thankful I'm not included in his rants.

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): meepo visage_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): wth_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): do you knw how to microskill?_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): just watching u play confirms it_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): fucking feeders_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): dnt knw how to play the hero_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): nxt tym dnt pick hard hero_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): luk wat u did_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): u guys feed jug too much_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): now he too fat_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): fucking noobs_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): viper join clash pls_

_[Foreign Name #1] (Allies): [typing native language]_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): speak english_

_[Foreign Name #1] (Allies): is seyin gaem_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): i still dnt get wat ur tryin to say_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): rip english_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): nxt tym dnt play in english-speaking servers_

_Kim Soo-Young (Allies): noobs_

Sigh... Things get worse...

In every clash, the enemy team made sure they kill Meepo and Visage first. Viper has good items... Because he keeps on farming in jungle but never joins clash. 0 kills 0 deaths...

I'll just quickly end this because recalling and writing about the other matches hurt. The same thing happens over and over again... No teamwork. Selfish bastards. Blame game. 'Noobs' and 'ez game'. Blah, blah... I just want to turn the table over and walk out.

"Always staying behind is right but you still suck at playing. You have slow hands and reaction time. Not only that, you can't even remember what keys to press." said bro when he watched some of my matches. "You get emotional and affected by what bashers say. And you need to stop coz you suck at playing. Go back to your RPG and adventure, puzzle, or whatever game you're good at."

I frowned. "I'm fully aware of my weaknesses and faults. Saying those things out loud just added to my frustrations." I'm imagining myself repeatedly hitting my head against the keyboard, and blood splatter everywhere.

"That's why you need to quit playing dota. And hell, you've been hogging my laptop to yourself these past days!" said bro. "What made you play dota anyway? I thought games like dota is not your thing."

"When you said that readers would be more interested in reading a fanfic coming from a player and not just a fan."

"I blame myself for saying that." said bro. "Just do me and the community a favor: don't play dota 2. Noobs like you are ruining the game."

"The hell-"

"And if you want to continue playing dota 2, I suggest playing against bots first. Or go back to dota 1 or play lol."

"... You know what? Fine! I'm gonna stop playing. I admit, I'm not really good at MOBA anyway. I'll just content myself with drawing fan arts rather continue playing."

"Good. Watching your awful gameplay makes me cringe. Now that you won't play dota anymore, get off my place. It's my turn to play!" he starts cracking his knuckles. "Behold how a pro plays!" and he clicked Rank Match.

"Later. I'll just write some fanfic and do some random shit first." my cellphone rings. "Yes! Nice! I got a text from Rob. He's inviting us to go drinking and karaoke tonight."

My brother quickly pressed Cancel and quit dota.

* * *

><p><strong>And there you have it. I so totally not gonna go back playing dota 2... Or am I? Muhahaha.<strong>

**If ever I'll stop, I'll continue writing this if I'm inclined to. But it will be based more on either my brother's or cousin's, or a random dota player's gameplay.**

**And yeah, creepy and weird Match IDs are always part of dota 2. Mwehehehe.**


	4. Addiction

_I could hear it whispering to me. 'Come back.' it says._

_"No!" I shouted._

_'Come back.'_

_"I said 'No'. Stop mocking me!"_

_'Come back.'_

_"Noooo! I won't come back! You'll never take my soul again!"_

_I screamed hysterically. I flipped the table and the laptop drops to the floor. Not satisfied that the laptop's screen is cracked, I picked the baseball bat and started hitting the laptop with all my might..._

That's how I imagine myself when I have to control myself from pressing the 'Find Match'. It's like I'm undergoing drug withdrawal symptoms. Yes, I still play but for casual gaming and fun. I'm really tempted to wreck the laptop, but getting good gadgets like it is too hard and expensive. Plus, my brother will kill me if I ever did destroy his laptop. Hehehe.

But my god. The sensation of wanting to play and play is still there inside me, like a disease that slowly consumes my health. If I give in to this sensation, I'll probably spend most of my time playing and forget all that are important, such as celebrating Christmas and New Year with my family. I remember getting addicted to a game when you're very good at it and loved it so much, and it has almost destroyed my life. I got over it and I was able to control myself up to this day. But dota 2 is trying to revive this disease again. My counters for avoiding this disease are distractions, and thinking I suck and avoid playing. And if I play, I made sure my brother is home because the laptop is his to use first and it's his right because he owns it.

Anyway, those are my opinions. Let's change the scenario...

So here I am, taking advantage of the laptop because my brother is away. I was typing a new chapter of my 'Out For Blood' story when I went to the desktop and saw the Steam icon.

"Hmm. To fully understand Bloodseeker, I must play him." I said to myself. "Should I? ... Why not? It's not like I'm playing against other players."

So I opened my account, picked dota 2, went practice playing Bloodseeker only. A little practice for less than five minutes, I stopped.

"I think I've fully comprehend Bloodseeker's skills." I said. "All I've got to do is understand Skarlet's fighting moves. If only I have a PS3..." then my eyes landed at the Find Match.

My heart is beating fast, deciding if I have to press that button. Then...

"FUCK YOU, FIND MATCH! I AIN'T GONNA FALL FOR YOU AGAIN!" then I quit. My strong-will prevailed!

"The fuck's wrong with you?" said my brother when he arrived.

"Shit." I hate it when he caught me doing weird things. "Welcome home. Don't mind me. Wanna use your laptop now?"

"Hell yeah. My friend's inviting me to play with him." he said and shooed me away from the laptop.

His friend, who'll be called 'JOE' here, is somewhat I consider a pro. I've seen him play nimble heroes before and he's really good. He picked Queen of Pain while my brother plays Lone Druid. JOE would usually go alone or do ambush. Even when his health and mana are low and being chased, he uses the fog of war while waiting for his blink to work as he plays his enemy. And when the enemy's health is low, he either waits for comrades to aid him or goes for the kill.

"My god, bro. You're good." I praise when I saw how quick he moves his fingers, reaction time, and tactics, when he played Lone Druid. He uses his bear to harass and farm then summoned it back to him, and quickly switches to his hero and bear. I don't know about you guys, but for me, he's really good... or maybe that's how I see him because I'm a noob.

"Pro." was all my brother answered. Sometimes, I just want to smack his head to the keyboard. Pro my ass. I'm soooo tempted to tell him about that Naga Siren incident when he doesn't know when he'll use Siren's Song. But let's skip that.

As I watch him, something niggled in my brain. "Hey, bro. Have you been addicted to dota before?"

"Not really."

"Wehhh..."

"It's true. About that addiction, it depends on the person's self-control and attitude towards the game."

"Yeah, I get what you mean."

He's right. It's true that it depends on the person on how he'll spend his time in playing.

* * *

><p><strong>I still play just like what I mentioned. Do you even have that addiction sensation?<strong>

**Anyway, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!**


	5. Drunk Gaming

After drinking booze (ladies' drink for the ladies and gay friend, hard-core beer for hard-core brother and real men friends), screeching while doing karaoke, dancing to house music such as the lame 'Selfie', and drinking booze, we went home. As the sober and knows how to drive a car, I'm assigned to drive my friends to their homes.

What made us go out? 1) it's my friend's birthday, party is in their house; and 2) internet's down for almost a day.

So we arrived past two am. When we saw our wifi router blinking rapidly, we knew that internet's up.

"Yes! Net's up!" I said. "Yo, bro! I'm going to play. That okay to you? You're drunk anyway." though he drank a lot, he's sober enough to be aware of what's happening around him but his attitude is worse. Anyway, I went to his room to turn on his laptop.

"Wuuuuuutt? No way!" and my brother followed me.

"Too late. I got here first." I said as dota opened. Then I clicked Find Rank Match because my friends are all offline. My 'friends' are my cousin and some friends of my brother because they took pity on me and helped me to win. Yeah, winning lately. I'm so confident, I want to play by myself now.

"Damn." said bro.

I look at him and stuck out my tongue. Too childish, I know. Then...

"Shit! My head hurts!" I said as I put my head on my palm.

"Wuuuuut? You drank a little and your head hurts? Hahahaha! Weak!" my brother insulted me.

"Shaddap! Arrrgh... How am I suppose to play? I'm connected to the game now and it's a rank!"

My brother seems to take pity on me when he said, "Shit. I'll play for you."

"Thanks. But I want to play first. Just take the reigns when you see I'm sucking at my game. That okay?"

"Whatever."

I was second in my team to pick, and my pick is Sniper. So I play, and play, aaaaand... I was going like: "Oh my god, I'm so stupid."; "What am I doing?"; "No, this is not where I want to go."; "My head hurts."; *yawn*; Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!"; "Shit. Shit. Shit. Wrong move!"; "Whhhhyy?"; "Owwwww."; "I feel like puking."; "No! No! No! Get back!"; "WAAAAAAHHH!"

My brother just laid back and laughed at me as the enemy won, a laugh that can grate on your nerves, a type of laugh that is soooo insulting. "Wahahaha! Alcohol and dota is not meant for you!"

I log out. "Oh, yeah? Can you play in your current state?" I challenged.

He got up. "Hell yeah! Don't underestimate the pro, noob!" and he shooed me away. And he picked Rank Match and randomed Shadow Demon.

"Hey. Do that again." I said when my brother was clicking on SD's cosmetics while the other players are still picking their heroes. As my brother did it, I added. "Click faster and hear what's he saying."

My brother did and kept on clicking repeatedly. We were laughing out loud because SD sounds like he's saying 'SHIT'.

When it's time to play, my brother cracked his knuckles. "Now, watch a pro plays even when he's intoxicated!"

I'm quite amazed my brother was playing well. Or not...

"OMG, bro. So many fails! Ah ahahahah!" I said.

Every time enemies are coming to him, his reaction time and judgement is so slow, he can't perform well. He feeds a lot, making his team mates rant at him.

_PUZZY (alies): fuck dis sd!_

_Robin Williams (allies): wtf u doin? _

_GozuGozu: haha. noob sd_

_Calm Down and Play Bitch!: REPORT SD FOR FEEDING!_

_bro: pro tip_

_bro: dont play when drunk_

I slyly grinned at my brother after the match ended, and his team lost." So that's how a pro plays when intoxicated, eh?"

My brother logs out and puts his face to his hands. "Just... shut up and leave me in peace. I need to sleep."

I did, but not without laughing at him.

* * *

><p><strong>I decided to delay writing because of real life, focus on how I'll finish my other stories, and I want to continue drawing fan arts.<strong>

**Gyro Z: thanks but no thanks. I got 'friends' and I play casually (usually within three weeks and one game only). And judging by the 'm8', I think you play in EU or AU. I play on SEA server, so it's gonna be lag a lot.**

**Guest, pendiam, RhietaV: Thanks guys! I think I'm improving, especially when I have 'friends' who are willing to party with me.**

**I changed my profile pic because of dota, my weird personality becomes dominant.**


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